My princess, my queen, my love
by Video-et-Taceo
Summary: "Are you attracted to her?" I asked, terribly afraid of the answer he might give.  Please, please let him say no.  Bess/Robin  This was also posted under the Tudor section, but I thought I would post it here as well just in case. Now several one shots
1. My princess, my queen

**I absolutely love Bess/Robin. There never seems to be enough about them! So I figured that instead of begging others to write them, I would do ahead and write something of my own. Let me know what you think! **

My princess, my queen

"Are you attracted to her?" I asked, terribly afraid of the answer he might give. _Please, please let him say no._

He hesitated slightly and seemed rather unsure of how he should word his answer.

"I'm attracted to her enough," he responded quietly, looking down to avoid my gaze.

"What?" I exclaimed, jumping up from my seated position and tearing my hands from his. "How could you say that?" I bit my lip, willing myself not to let any of my treacherous tears escape. Letting him see me so weak was a mortifying prospect.

He reached out for my hands, and as much as I wished to resist, I could not.

"Bess, sweetheart, you mistake my meaning. She will never compare to you. She will never have my heart as you do. But I must marry, and if it cannot be you, at least..."

I cut him off swiftly. "At least what, Robert? You once told me you loved me." I lowered my voice so no one could hear. "How can you marry her? You know how I feel about you, Robin. I wish I could stop caring about you, but I cannot."

It was painful for me to see the look in his eyes. He seemed so at a loss for words, as if there were none quite fitting to explain how he felt about me. I had never seen him at such a disadvantage. He had always been cocky and overly confident in his ability to charm. Now he looked like a lost little boy trying to conduct himself as a man. I, too, must have now looked like a silly love struck girl. I had never actively sought to give my heart. Whenever I saw other girls losing their minds over some man, I pitied them. How pathetic they were! Love didn't exist. People could not be trusted, especially those of the male sex. I had learned that from a young age.

But I had given my heart and this handsome young man held it in his hands. I could almost physically feel him crushing it when I had trusted him to take care of it.

He had it and as much as I wished to take it back, it was too late.

I silently cursed the day I had ever laid eyes on Robert Dudley.

"Please," I whispered.

"I don't ever wish to hurt you. You know that I am not a first born son and therefore have no inheritance. I must marry and Amy is an heiress. My father has set up the match and approves it. I certainly cannot back out of my promise now."

I did know that Robert wasn't wealthy by any means and that his father had a tendency to be ruthlessly self seeking. I understood Robert's reasons for marrying Amy, but I could not condone them. Not when he had kissed my lips. Not when he had touched me like a lover. We had been mere children when he had first admitted that he loved me, but I believed him. A boy's honest and pure declaration of love was more believable than that of a man who had been tainted by politics and ambition. I knew him well enough to know when he was telling a lie. He wasn't lying then and he certainly wasn't lying now. I could see the truth in his dark eyes, shining with unshed tears. I could feel the truth in the earnest way he held my hands.

"I could only love you. I fell completely and utterly in love with you the day you beat me in that horse race. I had been a headstrong boy then who thought that nothing could touch him. You proved to me that I was not invincible. You were a force to be reckoned with. I remember thinking to myself that this was a girl that I could respect."

I laughed despite myself. He had been taunting and teasing me constantly that day. I was just a girl. How could a little girl beat him? I had certainly shown him just what a little girl could do. We engaged in many verbal spats and competitions, always trying to one up each other. Soon our desire to crush the other turned into a budding respect and a tight friendship.

"You have not lost me, Bess. I will remain yours until the day I die." He leaned forward until his lips were close to mine. Our breath mingled together and for a moment time had stopped. His upcoming marriage disappeared into thin air and everything was right once again.

He captured my lips with his own and kissed me so tenderly that I could not help but kiss him back, despite my desire to close my heart to him forever. His kisses intensified and his hands were tangled in my hair. Between kisses, he whispered words into my ear that I could hardly comprehend in the heat of passion.

"Robin, you mustn't. We mustn't..." I feebly tried to voice my disapproval. My head knew what we were engaging in was entirely improper, but my heart felt every kiss and every caress was completely justified.

"My princess," he whispered. "My queen."

My mind snapped to attention at his words.

"You reckless fool. You know such words are dangerous."

"It's true. You will one day be my queen and I shall live and die to obey and serve only you."

I desperately tried to swallow the words that were about to spill from my lips, but tried in vain.

"I love you, Robin."

Amy Robsart had looked beautiful on her wedding day. Her rich rose colored gown set off her shiny blonde hair and pale skin. She looked exactly like a new bride should; happy, excited, and absolutely in love.

I tried not to feel the way I did. How could the innocent Amy Robsart know that the Lady Elizabeth was incredibly jealous of her? How could she know how fervently I wished to be in her place? My chest tightened with envy and hatred for the girl who was in legal possession of Robert.

Robert, for his part, seemed to match her emotion for emotion. Handsome as always, he looked just as in love as she did. I silently prayed that it was because he was imagining me in her place. I could not bear my sweet Robin being in love with someone else.

We avoided each other's gaze for the entire ceremony. He could not know how I was feeling.

When it was all over and they were officially man and wife, our eyes finally met. His eyes contained such a strange mixture of regret and desire that I could not help but let my eyes show him my true feelings as well.

It was a brief moment of honesty and I cherished it for the rest of the day.

I had his heart. He loved me. I could live on that for the rest of my life if I had to. I was Elizabeth Tudor, heir to the throne. I would survive this heartbreak just as I had survived others in the past. I was the daughter of Henry VIII and the "whore" Anne Boleyn. Strength coursed through my veins.


	2. The Times She Lost Him

So I've decided this story will be a collection of one shots about Bess/Robin. They won't be in any order and they will change from first person to third person narrative.

I received a review for the last chapter asking me if I could write one where Robert marries Elizabeth instead of Amy Robsart. I will definitely try to get that up ASAP, but school always delays my writing a little bit. Please review...not because I want as many reviews as possible, but because I want to get feedback: what do you like, what can I improve on, do you have anything you would like to see me write? Reviews and feedback are a great way to improve my writing.

The first time she thought she lost him was when he married Amy Robsart.

She had been wrong. They were both in the Tower at the same time and he had secretly had a little boy bring her flowers. He was also by her side when she was crowned Queen of England at 25.

The second time she thought she had lost him was when he married her she-wolf of a cousin Lettice Knollys. She had thought of banishing him to the Tower. When she first of his marriage she wanted to punish him, to never see him again. But when anger had softened and sense had returned to take its place, she knew she could never do that. How would she bear never seeing her Eyes again? He needed to be at her side and at her command. He was quickly summoned back to court.

The the third time she thought she lost him was when he was sent to the Netherlands. No longer could he be at her side with the snap of her fingers. No longer could he take her hands, give her a charming smile, and reassure her that everything would be alright.

All those times she had only lost him temporarily. He always returned, they always made up after quarrels, and most of all his affection for her was always the same.

The fourth time she lost him, she lost him for good. He had been ailing for quite some time, but she always thought the medicine she sent would make him feel better.

His absence from her life was always a fear, a terrifying fear that she refused to give credit to. A prince did not give into such irrational fears. They were young and strong and nothing would ever happen to them.

She was wrong again. They were older. Their youth had long escaped them. Their days of being the handsomest couple to enter the room were gone, even though she would never, ever admit that.

She would always remember him as her sweet Robin. Whenever she saw him, though he was aging and ailing, she saw the young boy she had first fallen in love with. To her, he would always be the young man with the dark gypsy eyes and that heart stopping swagger.

When all others failed her, he was always her hero. When all others left her, she had only to take a quick glance around the room to find Robert waiting patiently for her summons.

They had both hurt each other and used each other. She wouldn't deny that. He had been desperate to marry her and even though she knew Robert was ambitious, the real reason was because he wanted to fully have her heart, her body, and her soul.

She had wanted to give him all of herself. The hardest thing she ever had to do was deny him. She had feared marriage from childhood. Her own mother and cousin had died at their husband's hand. Catherine Parr was carrying Thomas Seymour's child when he began to engage in his dangerous flirtations with her. Her sister Mary was stuck in a loveless marriage that lost her the support of her country. She hadn't been given any examples that made her see any advantages to marriage.

As powerful as her brain was, her heart put up an awful fight. She had always secretly desired to marry her sweet Robin, but there had been so many reasons not to.

There was only one reason to marry Robert and that reason was that she loved him.

It wasn't often, but sometimes she allowed herself to imagine the two of them as husband and wife. She imagined having children to forever cement the love they had for each other. The first child would be a girl, a pretty girl with large dark eyes and silky black hair. She would be the spitting image of the mother she had lost at such a young age.

The second was a son who would be the living image of his father. The second and third would have the Tudor red hair and pale skin. She would have it all; a husband who adored her and their children, a partner to share her burdens, and the love of her people.

She would laugh at herself before dissolving into quiet tears. How silly she was being! This was all an impossible dream. She had married her country. She would live and die a virgin. Marriage was dangerous even to someone she loved.

But now that she held his last letter in her hand, she was full of regret and remorse. She had never _really _had him and now she certainly never would.

The dream of their family assaulted her with such force that she dropped to her knees and then crumpled to the floor. "He can't be gone, he can't be gone," her mind chanted, but the ache in her heart told her the truth.

How was she to live? He had taken her heart with him to death. He _was _her heart. How does one live without their heart?

He had always tried to love her and take care of her. She had been so cruel to him, promising to marry him one minute and then retracting her words the next. Even he knew that a queen had to worry about more than just her heart, but it still must have hurt him terribly. Just as his marriages and affairs had stung, her many refusals must have wounded him in much the same way.

This was some cruel joke. He wasn't really gone. He couldn't be. Especially when they had a victory to celebrate. Soon he would arrive, pick her up off the floor, and take her to the festivities. He would be right by her side as he always was and as they watched the celebrations, they would reminisce about the many dances they had shared together over the years.

No, he was not...

Suddenly, she felt as if she couldn't breathe. Her dress was too tight, her fashionable ruff too constricting. But she had banished her ladies and would not let them into her room to help her so she would have to manage herself. She furiously tore at her gown, not caring if it was ripped to shreds. Who cared about a silly gown when her love was gone?

She continued to rip and claw at her dress until she escaped the pretty cage.

Now she was exhausted and could no longer fight the sadness that seemed to spread to every part of her body.

Everyone left her. Her mother, her cousin, her many step-mothers, her father, her brother, her sister, and now the one she believed would never leave.

"Robin, what am I to do without you? You are my soul. How can I carry on without you?" she spoke to the letter as if it was really Robert and he could hear her cries.

With every ounce of strength she had left, she screamed as forcefully as she could, not caring if anyone could hear her. "How could you do this to me?"

Then breathlessly she whispered, "I love you."


	3. In Her Dreams

_I know that Bess and Robin did have adjoining suites and that when she thought she was dying of smallpox, she ordered that a large sum of money be paid to Robert's servant who slept in his room. While I don't think the relationship was technically consummated, that little piece of information leads me to believe that she definitely came and went from Robert's room and wanted to pay the servant for not saying anything. That's just my interpretation, though. _

She had been tossing and turning in her bed, the sheets twisting around her legs and tying her into a tangled mess. Angrily, she kicked off the sheets and let them fall to the floor. Once they hit the floor, she let her head hit the pillow.

She often couldn't sleep. Her mind was never at rest for there were so many things that she had to worry about. Most often, it was the pressures from her council that troubled her. What answer was she to give them?

But tonight, there was only one thing on her mind.

Him.

His fingers, his hands, his arms, his legs, his feet, his toes, his chest...

She made a noise of frustration and turned onto her side.

Everything about him was floating around her mind tonight. His dark eyes were there teasing her, willing her to try to sleep when she could be thinking about him. He was just as maddening in her dreams as he was in life!

She could toss and turn no longer. Quickly, but as quietly as she could, she got out of her bed. She needed him. Not in her dreams, but in the flesh.

It wasn't a hard task to accomplish as long as she kept as quiet as possible. Being sly wasn't difficult for her and she couldn't help but think of all the times she had snuck around with Robert when they were children. Her lips starting to spread into a smile, but she put her hand to her mouth to stop it.

Robert had a suite of rooms adjoining hers. She needed him near her at all times, even if his presence was muffled by walls.

Now all she had to do was take the key she had to Robert's room and slowly unlock and open it.

With the door slightly ajar, she could see his body curled up in sleep. His back was to her, making his face completely hidden.

Slowly, closing the door, she crept over to his bed and gently climbed in. He stirred slightly, making her smile.

She leaned as close to his ear as she could without touching it and whispered, "Robin,".

He groaned her name and turned onto his back, but he still did not seem to realize she was there.

She was having a little bit of fun toying with him. Hadn't he been toying with her in her dreams?

"Robin," she whispered again.

"Elizabeth?" he rasped, his voice heavy with sleep. It couldn't have sounded more attractive to her.

He shook his head as if to make sure he was seeing properly.

"Bess? What are you doing here?"

She stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I couldn't sleep." she replied simply.

She felt like a little child as she waited for Robert's reply. Suddenly, she regretted coming to his room. She must look pathetic.

"Then you've come to the right place," he smiled seductively and brushed her hair from her face.

She laughed, relieved that he hadn't made fun of her for being so childish. Instead, from all appearances, he thought she had made the wisest decision to come to his room.

As she leaned back on the pillow, he rolled his body over hers, supporting his weight with his forearms.

"Why, sweetheart, could you not sleep?" he asked.

She noted the sincerity in his voice and decided to tell him the truth.

"My bed was cold," she whispered, assuming he would realize the hidden meaning behind her words.

"That can easily be remedied," he said into her ear, making her eyes roll back in pleasure.

"You know nothing can truly happen between us," Elizabeth pointed out, regaining her senses.

"Why is that? You know I love you and desire to be your husband above all else. As I've said before it is my duty to obey and serve you above all others. Can you blame me for desiring to take that one step further? Marry me, Bess. We will provide the country the heirs they want so much and I promise that your bed will never be cold again."

Her heart seemed to constrict painfully as the subject not only brought up her fear of marriage, but her desire to be married to him despite the fear.

"I told you when I was eight that I would never get married. I still believe that. I'm married to my country. I am a queen first and a woman second. It's the sacrifice that I make for my people."

He was still looming over her, inches from her face and she could feel his breath against her face. Her heart was beating fast and she was mortified to think that he could tell.

"I could make you a woman first," he replied, slipping his hand up her thighs.

Her body instantly reacted and for a moment she let herself give into the pleasure that spread throughout her body. He leaned forward to kiss her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. As his hand crept higher up her thigh, she quickly came to her senses, and pushed his hand away and turned from him quickly.

"I cannot...we cannot do this."

Robert, struggling to swallow his obvious frustration, answered, "Yes, we can. Marry me, Bess and we can do whatever we wish. I can always be there to comfort you, to give you pleasure and none of it will be a sin. None of it will wrong.

Anger rose in her breast. She was torn between her head and her heart.

"No. No. No. We cannot."

"Bess, what are you so afraid of? Do you think I'll be like your father? It pains me to know that you would ever believe that I would treat you so."

"I've known many men that make promises that they do not keep."

"Bess," he reached out to her and grabbed her in an embrace. "I shall never be that kind of man."

Elizabeth did not want to, but she found herself softly crying.

"Do not cry, sweetheart. We shall talk of it no more."

Elizabeth nodded slowly, once again feeling like a little child.

She never wanted to be vulnerable, especially to any man, but she knew that in this moment she had to be.

"Can you...can you just hold me? It's all I can promise you now, Robin."

He looked at her tear stained face and the slight look of helplessness on her face. He wanted more than just to hold her, but it was a comfort to know that he was the one that she came to when she was in her weakest moments, when she was the woman and not the Queen.

He leaned her back onto the bed and she placed her head on his shoulder.

With his arms around her and the beating of his heart under her ear, she drifted off to sleep.


	4. Elizabeth's Flowers

_This one shot is inspired by the story of a little boy giving Elizabeth flowers while she was imprisoned in the Tower. It probably had nothing to do with Robert Dudley, but I like to believe that he was the prisoner trying to communicate with Elizabeth through the flowers. This is fiction and fanfiction so I can write about it if I want to! ;)_

_Told through Robert's perspective. I may write a companion piece from Elizabeth's perspective. I will have more one shots coming soon. I had to take a break because school was sucking the creativity out of me (sort of the opposite of what school should be doing, but that's neither here nor there)._

Her head was turning towards him and he caught her slight surprise at seeing him. She recovered quickly and if it wasn't for his familiarity with the girl behind the princess, no one would have ever seen it. His lips curved into a smile and he bowed slightly. There she was. The Lady Elizabeth, daughter of Henry VIII, heir to the throne. They had been close since they were children, but after Lady Jane Grey's disastrous reign and his subsequent imprisonment for his participation, he hadn't seen much of her.

He could see all of her now. Her pretty pale skin framed by fiery red hair, her dark eyes that looked as if they could see straight into his soul. She wasn't the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His wife was much prettier, but Elizabeth had the most mesmerizing face he had ever laid eyes on.

Since his imprisonment, he was allowed visits from his wife. It a was welcome relief from the dark and dank scenery of the Tower. Amy's eyes always lit up when she saw him and she was always filled with wifely concern.

But all of Amy's beauty was shattered by one look at Elizabeth. He had never seen her mother, but he had heard whispers of Elizabeth's shocking resemblance to her. Anne Boleyn was apparently not a typical beauty, but her charms made her more appealing than any English Rose.

Elizabeth's coloring made her deceptively Tudor, but it was obvious that at heart she was thoroughly Boleyn. It was evident in the way she could entice him with one glance, how he felt forever drawn to her.

Her lips parted to reveal a smile. In her hands was a bouquet of flowers given to her by a little boy during her walks in the privy garden. She raised them to her nose, took in their scent, and then cocked her head to the side and stared pointedly at him.

He knew that she was asking if he had anything to do with the flowers that had been delivered to her daily by the little boy. He merely gave her a smirk and placed his hand over his heart.

She broke out into laughter and he knew that she had gotten the message. Pulling one of the flowers from the bouquet, she broke the stem in half and placed it in her hair.

Never had she looked more radiant than she did now, with the flower in her russet curls and a bright smile adorning her face. He was happy to know that he had a hand in her happiness, but he was not fooled by her high spirits. Underneath her dark eyes were heavy shadows and lines of worry crept across her face. She had the strength of several men, but he knew the memories of her mother and cousin who hadn't left the Tower alive were probably eating away at her. There was a part of him that would gladly sacrifice his own neck for hers, but there was another part of him that knew that wouldn't be necessary. She didn't need any saving.

He brought his fingers up to his lips and kissed them softly. She did the same and turned from him slowly. He knew that he had spent enough time with her and at any moment a guard would tell him to move. Even though he took a step away from her, every part of his body was resisting.

In the distance he heard Elizabeth asking the boy how she looked and his response that she was the prettiest lady he had ever seen.

As he turned to look once more at her, she did the same and their eyes caught for a brief moment. It was over as soon as it began, but if he had to face the executioner's axe he would take that last sweet glimpse with him to his grave.


	5. Together We'll Wreak Havoc on the Throne

This is my first AU one shot. I've always wanted to write one for them, but I could never get it on paper. I've never written AU and I find it especially hard writing AU for history. Bess and Robin are the only historical couple that I think I could write AU for. I can't help imagining them together as an actual couple. I hope to write a few more AU ones, but they won't be in any order.

The title comes from the song _The Consort_ by Rufus Wrainwright. He supposedly wrote it about Elizabeth and Robert after watching _Elizabeth_ with Cate Blanchett and Joseph Fiennes.

** _Together We'll Wreak Havoc on the Throne_**

Although the Queen would loathe to admit it, she was not always in control. She did her best to always appear to her council and to her people as if she was, but even a queen had her doubts.

But to Robert she was not just a Queen. She was also his wife. When she laid her head upon his shoulder at night, she was not just a monarch. She was a woman and that woman was plagued with more worries than the average person could even imagine. The worries she carried were also his. He had dedicated his life to serving her and now this vow was more important than ever, as she was carrying the heir to the throne.

Suddenly, his wife's foot gave a solid kick to his leg. He turned to look at her and noticed that her brows were furrowed in concern. He had sensed that she was uneasy all day, but his suspicions were confirmed when he received another kick.

"Bess," he whispered softly. "Bess?".

"What?" Her voice was laced with a tinge of annoyance and she didn't open her eyes.

"You seem to be ill at ease."

"Oh? And what gave you that impression?"

She wasn't going to admit to anything without a fight. He should have expected that. Moving closer to her, he wrapped his arms around her tiny frame in the hopes that she would feel safe in his arms.

"I am your husband and I know you better than anyone."

As she turned to face him, he gave her a smirk. She rolled her eyes, but he could feel her relax in his arms.

"And I am your Queen and I am telling you that nothing is wrong".

"Yes, but I am bound to protect you and how can I do that without knowing what is on your mind? Don't look at me like that. I know something is worrying you. Just tell me what it is and I can help make it go away."

"Clever, Robin, but your argument is flawed for I have told you what is worrying me and that is nothing".

"I don't believe you."

"Why is that?"

"Besides being your husband, you have been kicking me all night. You always kick in your sleep when something is bothering you."

"I do?" Her blacks eyes were wide in shock. "I do that?"

"Yes, the bruises on my leg can attest to that."

"Perhaps you did something to deserve it." she said crossly.

Robert ignored her remark. "No, I don't think that is the case. Nothing is wrong with the baby?"

Elizabeth was silenced by his words. Her eyes darted back and forth as if she was trying to find someway to avoid answering the question.

"It is about the baby." she confessed quietly.

His eyes grew wide in alarm and he grabbed her swiftly. There was nothing more precious to him than Elizabeth and the baby. He would gladly die himself if it meant keeping them safe.

She sensed his fear and quickly quelled it. "No, the baby and I are fine. It isn't that. It's..."

"It's what?"

Doing her best to seem nonchalant, she answered him. "It is just the sex of the baby."

He should have known that she would be concerned about that. She herself had been born the wrong sex and it had a devastating effect on her mother.

"What do you mean?" He knew perfectly well what she meant, but he wanted her to explain what she felt out loud. That was the only way she could fully come to terms with it.

"Good Lord, Robert!" she cried in frustration. "I mean what if the baby is a girl?"

"The physicians and astrologers have all predicted a boy".

She looked skeptical. "All except one. My mother and father were told the same thing and look at how well that turned out".

What she said was true. Her parents were told the same thing and, with the exception of one, they all turned out to be wrong.

A boy was the heir everyone was hoping for. It would make sense that the majority of predictions would be a son. Elizabeth would hate to disappoint the people she loved so much. But perhaps they would just be so happy that Elizabeth was going to have an heir at all. For years she had been extremely resistant to marriage. She had managed to duck out of every marriage negotiation prior to Robert. In fact, that was a huge reason why they were allowed to marry in the first place. Elizabeth had made it clear that Robert was the only man she would consent to marry. The Council soon realized that the only way an heir would be born was if she married Robert.

Suddenly the security of the succession lay in the hands of a man whose family comprised of two generations of traitors, a man who was flamboyant and bold. But if they were to really examine the situation, Elizabeth's past wasn't so different from Robert's. Elizabeth had many convicted traitors in her family, including her own mother and cousin. Both were held in the Tower for treason, but managed to escape the axe. Elizabeth's life had been embroiled in scandal since her birth and yet she had kept her head and had won the love of her father and her people.

If there was anyone who knew how to turn misfortune into triumph, it was her. Surely she could do the same for Robert. It was all about playing up the positive. Even Robert Dudley had to have some better qualities. He had faithfully served Elizabeth and was, above all, an Englishman. The people feared a foreign marriage and Robert would alleviate the fear of the Crown falling into foreign hands.

Elizabeth was determined to make the people love Robert as much as she did. And like she did so many times in the past, she succeeded. So much so that their marriage was celebrated by the public and they eagerly turned their attention toward the birth of an heir.

Robert was not ignorant of his unusual position. In the past, the burden of providing an heir was the woman's main duty as Consort. This time it was a man that carried this burden upon his shoulders. Although Elizabeth would be carrying the child, Robert was the key other half that helped create it. His reputation had been rehabilitated, but public opinion of him would be sealed by whether the all important heir would arrive.

Elizabeth had made no bones about reminding him of his place.

"You are not the King. I am the King and you are my Consort. You would do well to remember that." She was firm and unyielding on this point. Falling to his knees, he vowed that she had no master, but he had a mistress. He would always answer to her. "Of course," he could not help reminding her with a smirk, "not in our bedchamber."

She had scoffed and slapped him lightly on the arm before giving him a kiss. It was just like Elizabeth to be commanding one minute and so damn tempting the next.

He always remembered his place out of the bedchamber. Robert was a quiet force behind Elizabeth. Influential when he needed to be and unassuming when he didn't. His actions as Consort even seemed to change the Council's opinion of him.

Many a time the possibility of marriage to Elizabeth seemed nonexistent, but here Robert was looking at his pregnant wife. It seemed as if all her hopes depended on what his answer might be.

"What if _he_ isn't a girl?" he replied, hoping to soften her concerned brow.

"Then I wouldn't be asking the question, Robin." she said, looking at him as if she couldn't believe how daft he was. "I'm not really concerned about the public's reaction."

"You think I would not love the child if it was a girl?"

She nodded slightly. "And that you would no longer love me."

It broke his heart that she would ever think that he could stop loving her. There had never been a moment when he did not love her.

"Elizabeth," he said, moving closer to her.

As usual, she never lost her fire for very long. "Don't 'Elizabeth' me. I want to know. My father stopped loving my mother because I was a girl."

"That is not true. It was not your fault."

"It was. I know it was. If I had been a boy, maybe I would still have my mother."

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She turned away from him so he would not see her cry.

"But I would not love you if you were a boy."

She turned quickly back towards him and stared silently. Then her lips parted and she broke out into laughter. He reached forward and captured those lips with his own. When they broke the kiss, he placed his hand on her stomach.

"I promise that I will love our child no matter what as he or she is part of you and there is nothing in the world that would ever make me stop loving you. Besides, you are a women and yet you rule better than any man could."

Before he knew it, she had thrown herself on top him. She gave him a playful smile. "So if our child is a boy, what shall we call him?"

"How about Henry or Edward?"

Her eyes lit up. "I like Henry. After my father. What if..." she said, drawing circles on his chest with her finger flirtatiously. "...we have a daughter?"

He thought for a moment about what her reaction to his suggestion would be.

"I was thinking Anne." he said lightly.

She grew serious at her words. "Anne?"

"Yes, after your mother."

Elizabeth's love for her mother was a well guarded secret that he felt privileged to know about. He had helped turn her ring into a locket that held a portrait of her on one side and her mother on the other. She spoke often of her father in public, but Robert knew that underneath her words she was also talking about her mother. She was more than _one_ lion's cub.

"Won't that be suspicious? It isn't good to bring up my mother's name in public."

"But one of your ladies is named Anne. She will surely attend on you during the birth. It wouldn't be odd to name a daughter after her. And there is the Lady Anne of Cleves."

"I suppose, but many will think of my mother."

"They may _think_ it, but they do not _know_ it."

"King Henry IX or Queen Anne I." she said dreamily. "I like it. My father and my mother. The two bravest people I have ever known."

She leaned forward and sealed her approval with a kiss.

AN: The biggest problem I had with writing AU was deciding just how they would be allowed to marry without Elizabeth forfeiting control. Robert wasn't the issue. He had served as "honorary Consort" and didn't ever seem as if he wanted to take Elizabeth's power away from her. I think the image of him as a scheming and power hungry courtier was given to him by his enemies. I don't think Robert was any more ambitious than Elizabeth herself. "Ambitious" is often seen as a bad word when applied to Robert and I think that is entirely unfair. Would Elizabeth love Robert so much if he lacked ambition and desire? As much as she like being in control, I don't think she would love someone she could walk all over.

The real issue is the Council's and the public's opinion of Robert. Would there be some kind of movement against Elizabeth if she married Robert? Would she lose the trust of those around her? And how would the world react?

If this was an AU where Amy Robsart hadn't died mysteriously or didn't exist in the first place, some of the the issues with an Elizabeth/Robert match would disappear. Amy Robsart's death was also the final nail in the coffin for Elizabeth/Robert. If Robert Dudley had been questionable before, he was now beyond question. The mysterious death of his wife seemed proof for some of Robert's evil intentions.

The immediate solution was to rehabilitate Robert's image. Elizabeth was a master when it came to this and Robert wasn't so bad at it himself. If Elizabeth was 100% committed to marrying Robert, I have no doubt that she would be successful in changing public opinion of him. Even historically Robert had managed to win over some of his enemies. The two of them combined would make an unstoppable force.

Please let me know what your thoughts are about this. I'd love to hear your ideas and suggestions! It truly breaks my heart that Elizabeth and Robert could never fully be together, although I admire Elizabeth so much for her commitment to her responsibilities and duties as queen.


	6. He Courted Me My Life Away

This is a one shot about Robert and Amy, but it involves his relationship with Elizabeth.

The title comes from the traditional Irish folk song "The Butcher Boy".

_"He courted me my life away_

_ And now with me he will not stay"_

If you believe in the suicide theory when it comes to Amy's death (which I lean towards), the ending of the song works quite well for that.

Although it cuts out some of the lyrics, my favorite version of the song is by Maureen Hegarty. You can find it on Youtube if you are curious.

The next chapter will be a continuation of my AU story (Chapter 5 "Together We'll Wreak Havoc on the Throne")

_He Courted Me My Life Away_

Amy looked at her husband, a man she hadn't seen for so long. Strange that she should be so distant from someone she ought to be so close to. She saw love in his eyes, but it seemed as if he was looking right through her, as if he hardly even saw her. The love in his eyes didn't seem to be directed at her.

For a long time, he had convinced her. She had believed that all his love was hers, but now _she _was starting to see through _him_. He could be so charming when he wanted to be and she had fallen for it so many years. Not anymore. No longer did she believe that he stayed away because he had to. It was partially true, but it wasn't the only reason. He stayed away so long because he wanted to. Physically he was here, but his heart was back at court and in the hands of a queen.

Robert had kissed her and showered her with gifts upon his arrival. As usual, he was full of news from court and hadn't stopped moving for a moment.

"Robert?" Amy said, hoping he would actually slow down and look at her. "Robert?"

"Hmm?"

"You are not at court now. You can relax."

"Oh." he replied, as if he was unaware of what he had been doing at all.

"I am very glad to you see." she said softly.

He gave her his most charming smile. "And I you."

Amy looked intently at his dark eyes to see if he really meant what he had said but found that she could no longer tell what was real and what was not.

"Will you stay long?" she inquired hopefully.

He shook his head. "I'm needed back at court."

"Of course." she muttered.

"What?"

Amy ignored him and pressed forward with what she really wanted to know.

"Why must you always go?"

"Amy, I have a very important position at court." He grabbed her hands tenderly and she was reminded once again how very convincing he could be.

He _did_ have a very important position at court. A very important position with his beloved queen.

She pulled her hands away.

"Robert, you tell half truths and pretend that they are full."

His forehead creased in confusion. Oh, he was very good at deceit! Almost as good as Elizabeth herself. Maybe they did belong to...

Amy couldn't take it anymore. If he wouldn't admit it freely, she was going to make him.

"You are in love with her. You've always loved her!"

"What are you talking about?" He reached for her hands again, but she swiftly moved away from him.

"You know full well what I'm talking about. Or shall I say who? _Elizabeth_! You love Elizabeth!"

She was frantic now. For some time the feeling had built up inside of her. Anger and frustration mixed with such a grave sadness. Denial had worked for awhile, but it was no longer a comfort. She would tell him how she felt. She would make him tell the truth if it was the last thing she did.

"I've heard things. Even as far away as I am, I've heard things. They say you two plan to kill me. That I shall die so you can marry her."

"You don't really believe that?"

"No, but the fact that people are saying these things is telling. If there was nothing but cordial friendship between you, why would they be saying such vile things?" She was crying now, uncontrollable tears that had been threatening to fall for so long. "Why did you even marry me?"

"Amy, stop..." He caught her around the waist and tried to calm her down. She knew what he was doing and she was not going to fall for it. Not now. Not ever.

"Don't touch me and don't say anything! You love her. I saw how you looked at her at our wedding. How she looked at you. Our wedding day! Tell me the truth." She was begging now, but she didn't care if she looked weak or pathetic. "Don't lie to me to save my feelings. Lies will hurt me more. Please tell me the truth."

"If I speak the truth or tell a lie, I would be hurting you either way."

Her heart dropped to the floor with a thud. No amount of preparation could have made this feel any better. She had asked for an answer, but she wasn't fully aware of how much it would hurt.

"That's it. That is all I needed."

"I'm so sorry, Amy." he replied with genuine regret.

Even though he had hurt her, she couldn't stand to see him in pain so she forced a small smile on her face. "Don't apologize. You can't tell the heart what it should want."

_Take it from me._

He seemed unsure of what to say and merely nodded his head. She looked away from him to signal that the conversation was over. With a parting glance, he turned from her to leave.

The image of him walking away from her would be forever imprinted in her mind. An eery premonition swept over her that this would be the last time she ever saw him. Suddenly dying didn't seem so awful. She knew she was sick and that death might not be too far away. What did life matter now anyway? Robert no longer loved her and now she was unsure if he ever did. She wasn't trained for court life. She was meant to be a country wife, but it seemed she was merely a shadow of what a wife should.

Dying might be an unexpected blessing. Perhaps then they could both be happy.


	7. A Fragile Line

Okay, this is not the continuation to my AU story. Editing turned into adding and I don't want to post it until it is completely ready. But I also didn't want to leave these one shots sitting so here is this one!

It is about Elizabeth's reaction to Robert's relationship with Lady Douglas Sheffield. I believe I read that she looked a bit like Katherine Howard (Douglas' maiden name was Howard!). I take that to mean she was either petite and curvy or a redhead with dark eyes. There are way too many redheads in the Elizabethan court so I made her blonde with blue eyes! I imagined her as the actress Margot Robbie if you want a visual. Alright...enough talking!

_A Fragile Line_

Her eyes scanned the crowd until she saw it. The bouncing blonde curls adorned with pearls. The blazing red dress. The wide flirtatious smile.

Elizabeth gripped onto the arm of her chair at the sight of her. Just who did Douglas Sheffield think she was? She looked as if she was having a little too much fun. Did anyone believe that mask of virtue she put on during the day? Elizabeth sure didn't. She knew very well that she unveiled herself at night and she knew just who unmasked her.

Her eyes didn't have to drift far from Lady Douglas to find him. She would recognize his tall frame and the proud tilt of his head anywhere. All of that belonged to _her _not Lady Douglas. She might be thinking he was hers at this very moment, but Elizabeth was sure she would never have his heart. She knew that to be true.

But the painful constriction of her own heart made her think otherwise. Why did she feel that pang of jealousy whenever she saw her? She wanted to tear that stupid smile right off of her face and burn that vulgar red dress.

Elizabeth's rage was strong enough for two. It wasn't only Lady Douglas that she wished to crush. She also wanted to hurt the man that accompanied her in her wicked deeds. If Robert thought he could get away with this kind of behavior, he was certainly wrong.

_The worst part is that he thinks I don't know._

She motioned for him to come over when he caught her eye. There was something animalistic about the way he strode towards her. Under that sophisticated exterior was a passionate interior that she longed to fully experience for herself. She wondered what it was like to be beneath him, his eyes blazing with a desire that only she could satisfy. What would it be like to succumb to that kind of pleasure? To be one like God seemed to have intended them to be?

He knelt before her and kissed her hand. It was a familiar gesture, but she always felt something different when it was performed by Robert. The feel of his lips against her hand made a light, warm feeling rush up her arm to her chest.

"Dance with _me_ now, Robin." she whispered. Her words were laced with a tinge of venom and sensuality.

"Play a Volta!" she called with a flourish of her hand.

It was Lady Douglas' turn to stare. It was her turn to be jealous.

_Watch and see who really owns his heart._

She had never wanted to possess him more than she did at this moment. Her skin tingled from his touch. They were so close now. All she had to do was press her lips to his and they would be one.

_If we were alone, the things I would do..._

Love and hate mixed in her breast and she was unsure of which emotion was the strongest. From which did the desire to run her nails down his back spring from? How long could the tension build until it was uncontrollable?

Just as the feeling was becoming unbearable, the music faded away. All she was left with was a burning sensation from where his hands had been.

Elizabeth usually enjoyed seeing Robert on his knees. There was something about his complete submission that made her pulse race with desire. But now her desire was replaced with anger.

* * *

"Is the baby yours?" her voice shook with rage. Not only did Lady Douglas have him in her bed, but now she had his own flesh and blood as well?

"Elizabeth, I..."

"Yes or no?" She didn't want to hear his excuses. She wanted to hear the truth. Her entire body was shaking with barely suppressed rage. Did he think flowery words would appease her?

He dropped his dark eyes. She had her answer.

"No, no, no!" Pacing the room, she knocked over whatever she encountered. She wanted everything in the room to be broken.

_Just as broken as my heart. _

"You thought I would not find out, didn't you? You thought you could do what you pleased without suffering the consequences! I must remind you that you answer to me. I have the power to utterly ruin you."

"Bess..."

The sound of his voice made her pause. She didn't want to ask the next question that arose on her lips, but the pain in her heart forced her to speak.

"Do you love her?"

Every second without his answer made her chest tighten until she had to lash out even more.

"Did you tell her you would marry her? Did you whisper lovely things in her ear? Did you tell her she was the only one for you? Speak!"

"I haven't the words to tell you how I truly feel." he replied slowly.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

He finally stood up and began to move towards her. His face was so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath. Whenever he was close to her, she felt all of her resistance melt away. It took so much effort to build it up and so little to tear it down. Why did she have to feel this way about him? There were some who thought she was incapable of functioning as a natural woman should and some who thought she wasn't a woman at all. She knew all too well that she was.

_Tell me you don't love her._

"I only love you." His eyes never left hers as he said the words.

_My Eyes. _

Those eyes had always looked out for her and had always told her the truth.

She pressed her lips fiercely to his. She wanted to taste the words his lips spoke. He responded with the same urgency and soon his hands were exploring her body. Her mind cursed her burdensome clothing, the hoops and layers upon layers that prevented her from being even closer to him.

_Always destined to be so close and yet so far._

Sensibility started to slip away and she knew she was close to coming completely undone. She wanted to press her hips against his, to know what his skin felt like upon her own. She wanted to know what he truly felt like, just this once. If only she could be another woman for a moment. If only she could be a lowly servant that could afford this one indulgence. If only his son could be hers. Why must she deny herself what even the lowliest in her kingdom could have?

_ Because you are a Queen._

The words rang in her ears until she gathered the strength to tear her lips from his.

"I can't."

She was a Queen and she had promised herself to England. She was bound to different rules.

His haughty dark eyes flashed in anger at her refusal.

"You are the cruelest mistress, Bess. Do you delight in taking my affections and playing with them?"

_In another life I would be yours and you would be mine. _

The look on his face was more than wounded pride. It looked like she had taken out his heart, broken it right before him, and then made him pick up the pieces. He truly wanted her. She could give him titles, money, and a few stolen embraces, but never all of her.

She saw in him everything she wanted, but a Queen could not have everything she desired. It seemed if she showed too much emotion, she was deemed ill fit to be a Queen and if she showed no emotion, she wasn't a human at all. How could she ever explain to him this fragile line she had to walk?

She closed her eyes tightly, hoping that if she didn't see it, it didn't exist. Everything hurt and she could do nothing about it. Nothing but wish it gone.

_In another life I would give you everything. My heart. My body. My soul._

But even a Queen couldn't control matters of the heart. Why must she want what she could not have? It was the worst curse imaginable.

"Please go."

Elizabeth bit her lip to stop from crying out as she watched him leave. The look on his face would haunt her for the rest of her nights.

The tension she had been carrying suddenly gave way to weakness. Her knees buckled and she dropped to the floor.

_I must always let you go._


	8. Chapter 8

_The Maiden and The Captor_

* * *

Okay so this is part one of...many...

The prompt boils down to something along the lines of, "Elizabeth and Robert have time alone together". I clearly like imagining this very much because it's nowhere close to being finished! I'm not even entirely sure what the ending is! I do have a bit of the second part written, but I don't know exactly when I'll have it finished.

Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes. The words were starting to blur together so I thought it was time to post it!

* * *

He heard the sound of leaves crunching and turned to see a figure hooded in a velvet cloak. Was that her idea of a disguise? He laughed softly to himself. Only Elizabeth would believe this outfit was appropriate for the situation. She could never be anything but a queen. It was in her blood.

She rushed up to him breathless, her cheeks bright spots of red against her pure white skin. He couldn't help but find the way her chest heaved and the way her black eyes shone awfully appetizing. His body started to lean forward, but he told himself to hold back and wait until they were truly alone.

Before he knew what happened, her lips were pressed against his. If she wanted to, who was he to tell her no? When she broke the kiss and backed away he saw her eyes wide in surprise.

"A little eager, are we?" he lifted his dark brows in jest.

She squeezed her lips together in annoyance. "You know there is nothing stopping me from turning around and leaving."

"I was merely teasing. Well, partly..."

She gave him a disapproving glare, but the way she easily let him swing her onto the horse told him she felt otherwise.

He swung himself onto the saddle behind her. There was hardly a space between them and it made his desire for her increase painfully. Elizabeth wasn't helping by leaning her body against his. He did not doubt that she was doing it intentionally. She turned and pressed her lips to his neck. Robert no longer cared if they were outside. The dark cloud of night was hiding them from the world. He captured her lips with his own, desperate to possess her. He sensed hesitation from her lips, but any resistance from her soon slipped away.

It was the impatience of his horse that caused their lips to part.

She turned her face away from his quickly. "Let's go before the beast throws us both."

"As you wish, your Majesty."

* * *

When they arrived at the lodge Robert had suggested, she seemed to be having seconds thoughts. She lingered by the horse and scanned the surrounding woods.

"There's no one here, right?" She shifted slightly on her feet and he could sense her hesitancy.

"I sent them all away and with plenty of money to keep them quiet."

"You make it sound as if we are committing a crime."

He instantly regretted his phrasing.

"Loving is not a crime, Bess."

Her eyebrows creased to form a frown. "It can be." He knew exactly what she was thinking of. Suddenly she looked like the frightened girl who told him she would never marry.

"You're under no obligation to me, Bess."

Her eyes lit up at his words. "Of course, I am under no obligation to you. I am under no obligation to anyone!"

Every word he said was coming out wrong. He was beginning to realize he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Why had he asked her to come in the first place? What was he expecting to happen? He knew what he _wanted _to happen, but he was completely unsure of what was really going to take place.

It wasn't like him to be so flustered around a woman, but seeing her bright red hair gleaming against the green of her cloak made him realize that she wasn't merely a woman. She was a goddess. For a moment, he marveled at how magnificent the girl he knew as a boy had become.

But his unintentional insult had given her a newfound confidence. She lifted her chin in determination and grabbed his hand. "Let us go inside."

* * *

She looked around the room and turned towards him. "You're sure there is no one here? How is everything...?".

"I have my ways, Bess." he said, bowing dramatically. He was quite pleased to have pulled it all off. The room was freshly made, but there wasn't anyone in sight besides the two of them.

Suddenly she broke out into a laugh.

"How lovely, Robin. Seems you assumed I would come."

"I had reason to hope. You rarely go against your word."

"I never go against my word," she corrected, her tone every inch the regal queen she was.

Robert paused long enough for her to pick up on his hesitancy. For a brief second a flash of recognition shone in her eyes, signaling to him that she knew exactly what he was thinking of, but she did not put words to it.

She had promised him a few times that she would marry him and many more times she had hinted at marriage. He was still hoping that eventually she would make good on her promise.

To give her the answer she wanted, he thought of how she had so far stuck to her girlhood promise of never marrying. "You never go against a promise."

She gave him a small smirk to let him know that she knew he was lying, but was happy that she had won and he had conceded more than anything else.

She turned capriciously from him and started to wander about the room. "I'm really alone."

Robert hadn't moved far from the side of the room, not wanting to make her feel trapped. For now, he was more than content to watch the giddy smile that grew on her lips.

"I'm really alone!" she said, louder this time. "I don't think I've ever truly been alone in my entire life." She looked about the room in awe and bounced on her toes as if she was dancing.

She glided towards him, grabbed his hand, and spun her herself around before backing away from him and tossing herself on the pillows by the fire.

"Come lie with me, Robin." she held her arms out to him with a flirtatious smile. Elizabeth was always playful and he was uncertain as to whether her words were just for fun or had any element of something more to them. But that wasn't important now. He would enjoy every moment with her tonight, whether or not it was _exactly _what he wanted.

He took her hands and fell beside her. She let out a coquettish laugh before moving herself closer to him.

"We are alone."

"So I've been told." Robert teased, receiving a light slap from Elizabeth.

Turning away from him, she declared, "Oh, but you're no fun."

"I am a lot of fun."

"Show me."

"What would you like me to show you?"

She turned back and gave him a sly grin. "Surprise me."

He wasn't sure if that was an invitation or a trap, but his heart beat fast at the thought of it being the former.

Taking his chances, he placed his hand on her thigh and let it slide up her body. When it reached her breasts, he could feel her take a deep breath and he thought that perhaps...

But instead she rolled away from him. He swore that he could hear her laughing softly. She knew _exactly _what she was doing to him. It seemed she delighted in giving him hope and then denying him. Sometimes he wondered why he let her play this game with him. There was the thrill of the chase, the forbidden fruit, and then there was...this.

But he wasn't going to give up that easily. He lunged at her neck and began to kiss it. Elizabeth scrunched her shoulders and began to giggle. "Now I know what your idea of fun is!"

"You said you wanted to be surprised."

"I'd like to say I was surprised, but isn't that what all men consider fun?"

"Ah, but cannot a women consider that fun if it is with the right man?"

She briefly paused to consider his words before whispering, "Do you know what I think is fun?"

Before he could even utter the word "what", she had pushed herself off of the floor.

"Catch me!" she called, as she began dashing around the room.

He lifted his eyebrows in surprise at her request. Elizabeth would never consider losing fun, but he was fairly certain he would be winning this game.

She ran to the opposite corner of the room, a distance he quickly crossed. When she saw him coming, she turned quickly and leapt onto the bed. Her cheeks were flushed and the sound of her laugh filled the room. There was nothing more beautiful than her smile. It lit up her entire face, smoothing out any tension she carried. If his only legacy was being the man that made her happy, then he would die a content man.

"Are you even trying?" she called, placing her hands upon her hips like a petulant child.

"Perhaps you are just too good at running." he responded, marking the irony of his words before running towards her.

When she went to jump off of the bed, it was his arms she fell into. There was a breathless moment when he simply held her in his arms.

She pressed her body closer to his and whispered, "It seems you've caught me. Now that you have caught me, what is it that you want?" Her lips twisted into a sly smile.

"All this captor asks for ransom is the maiden's heart."

Her eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"Just the maiden's heart? But she might as well give all of herself for if she gives her heart she has nothing left."

He picked her up to fully claim her as his own. "The maiden has uncovered the secret plot! Now does she want to be free or trapped with him forever?"

Elizabeth looked at him knowingly, a hint of sincerity behind the playful light in her eyes. "It seems she has no choice. Either way she is his forever."

Robert noted how very vulnerable she was at the moment. It wasn't often that he had any advantage over her. At least he didn't think he had any advantage over her. But the look in her eyes made him realize he did have something. Something that was possibly more powerful than anything.

He had her heart.

It was something he wished he had, hoped he had, but was never entirely sure he had. As much as he didn't want to admit to it, he needed reassurance. He needed to be reminded of her love when she flirted with other men, when she was in the midst of marriage negotiations.

And now, with her emotions showing clearly in her eyes, he wanted to see just how much she loved him.

"But," he said as he placed her upon the pillows. "If she does not give her heart willingly, perhaps it's best to let her go."

For a moment, panic flashed across her face. The confident mask that pretending gave her began to falter.

She sat up quickly and looked up at him. "Does anyone willingly give their heart? Aren't we all fortune's fools when it comes to love?"

"From experience, this man can say yes."

"Then the maiden and the captor are in agreement on something."


End file.
